Jordyn Ransom: Story 1

About a girl named Josie and a guy named Tucker, who are/were in this relationship that was toxic, but somehow they keep getting pulled towards each other. Josie is in love with this guy and is trying to get over him, but he keeps playing with her feelings and she doesn’t know what his intentions are with her and how he really feels about her. I really like that it was all in Josie’s mind and it didn’t actually happen. The inner conflict she had going on between her and Tucker about the possible outcome of having a conversation really made it seem that it was all real. Questions: How does he actually feel about her? Suggestions: I know the story is from her perspective, but I would love to have a bit of his perspective on what he feels. I loved this story, it had me wanting more.

Jordyn Ransom: Story 2

About a girl named Maisie, who is a 21 year old in college who was on her way home from work trying to get home on time but got caught in the snow storm and slid off the road. A random guy named Jasper helps her and brings her to his house to get help. She has an awful relationship with her mother, so she was trying to rush home and be on time when she got into the crash. I really like the feeling of comfort that she receives from him. And how she was able to show her feelings about everything, like her mother, to him and he doesn’t try to judge her but instead jokes to get her to smile. Questions: If she was that scared of coming home late, why didn’t she ask him to drive her home back to her house? Suggestions: Just a slight thing that I’m curious about is how they met. I know he must’ve found her and her car on the side of the road, but what was he out doing in the storm. The story is great and I liked it, and honestly you don’t have to mention that piece of information because it works without it and gives it that sense of mystery from the beginning of why she’s at some random man’s house.

Skyler Garcia: Story 1

About an astronaut named Alex who is back in space on a mission to fix the sun and make it normal again. Alex is the only survivor of 8 from a previous mission when an accident occured. While in space this time around, Alex is all alone, but talks to someone named Percy who ends up being a figure of their imagination. They try to contact people back on Earth, but they never hear anything back. The mission is complete, Alex makes it back to Earth, but not so much is alive. I really like the whole idea of a person being a figure of imagination in people. I think it really gives out that person’s personality based on their imaginary friend. The dialogue between Alex and Percy was well written as well how they go from bickering in the beginning to a heartfelt moment at the end. Questions: Does anyone back on Earth receive Alex’s messages and Logs? Was Percy the representation of someone who brought comfort to Alex? Suggestions: Mention briefly the trauma that Alex might have due to the accident that left them as the only survivor, and how it has really affected them.

Skyler Garcia: Story 2

About two guys, Jonathan and Finn, who are fencing partners, who also happen to be enemies. After a series of events, they see more than hate for each other. I really like the whole enemies to friends storyline. I love getting to see how characters can see behind what lays behind their true feelings for one another. I also enjoyed reading the tension between them. The dialogue was well written and I liked the internal dialogue they each did, especially while Jonathan was abroad they both asked themselves what they thought the other was doing. Questions: Why do they hate each other so much? Did something in the past for them to get progressively meaner to each other? Suggestions: Maybe throw in a small flashback to when they first started their animosity towards each other just so the reader can know why they are the way they are with each other.

Kenzi Kimbal: Story 1

About a person named Q who was out and about exploring a cave when they fell through a hole underneath the cave. They come across a person named Sunny and their dog named Sweet Pea. They show Q to their sanctuary for their art within a part of the cave. When walking back to Q’s house they discover that they live on the same street? I really liked the part when Q had a breakdown because they realized that they might get yelled at by their parents for being out too late and Sunny asks what’s wrong but Q only says they are fine. And on the way back home, Sunny tells Q it’s okay to cry and that it’s a natural human emotion to express and it’s a way of releasing. I just like that idea because people also say that they don’t like people crying in front of them, but Sunny makes it seem that it’s to cry and that no one will judge them for crying. Questions: Will Q and Sunny ever see each other again after discovering they live on the same street? Suggestions: Talk more about the issues that Q is having with their parents, and also talk about the issues Sunny has with their parents and how they came about to creating the sanctuary in the cave.

Kenzi Kimball: Story 2

About two girls, narrator and June, who are college roommates and are extremely close with one another and are inseparable. One night June drags along the narrator to go out and go stargazing. After a moment of silence June confesses that she can no longer stay and will not be returning back for the next semester. In a heartfelt moment, they both realize that this will be their last time living together, maybe even seeing each other as they will now be living separate lives without each other. I really like that the story was just the right amount of emotion. It wasn’t overly sappy or overly lovey dovey, nor was it in any way dramatic. It was just perfect. They didn’t have to confess their love for each other, because you can just tell by reading that they have a special bond with each other and love each other, whether that be romantically or platonically. Questions: Are they dating or are they just best friends? It seemed that by the way the narrator was talking about June, she had a crush on her. Maybe it’s just more that she is admiring June, but it’s hard to tell. If so, does June have any sort of feelings/crush on the narrator? Also, does the narrator have a name? Suggestions: I liked the story, so I don’t have many suggestions. I know that doesn’t help, but I think the only thing I would suggest is going more into the narrator’s personality. We get a lot about who June is, and we only get to know that the narrator is a good listener. 

Lizzie Baker: Story 1

About a mermaid named Stephan who is a detective in finding carvings of human remains into the walls under the water. Stephan comes across the legs and hands of humans and questions if his species are descended from humans, and what had happened to wipe out the human population. I really like that this story reverses how most supernatural stories are told. I enjoyed reading about how they were trying to discover the human population instead of the other way around where humans would have questioned the mermaids’ existence. Questions: Did Stephan ever reach the top of the surface to investigate the human remains found on land? Suggestions: Distinguish a bit more that they are mermaids and not mermans. There was a part in the story that called them mermans, but they are actually mermaids, not both. It was kind of confusing the first time I read it.

Lizzie Baker: Story 2

About two women, Abby and Gwen, who are married and are ex-convicts. They come across a paper talking about a ruby being placed in a museum and plan to steal it so they can use it to provide for themselves. I really like the line about the mask shielding her anxiety. I thought it was a great inclusion of a metaphor for that about having that fear of past experiences. Questions: How long have they been doing crime before they got caught and arrested? How long were they in jail for? I don’t know if I missed that part, but I’m curious. Suggestions: Talk more about their past and their previous works of being criminals. I want more of why they did it or how they came about to being involved.

Sophie Pidgeon: Story 1

About a girl named Nina who is on a bridge scared to jump off into the water below where all the people are looking at her from where they stand on the beach. I like that we really get to hear the internal thoughts of Nina during this process of her standing on that bridge waiting for fear to leave so she can jump, and like shake away the thought of gravity working against her. Questions: How does Nina feel in the end about jumping off? Will she ever do it again? Was it her idea to jump or her friend’s idea? Suggestions: Maybe talk more about why she’s so afraid of gravity and needing to have that control.

Sophie Pidgeon: Story 2

About a girl, Adelaid, who lost her childhood best friend, Heather, to an accident. Now, five years later, on her 15th birthday, she is dreading the party as she will have to come face to face with her best friend’s parents, after ignoring them all those years. She is able to find peace with herself, and continues to take care of Pistachio, the best Friend’s rabbit. I really like the description of you setting everything up to be imagining it while reading it. The title of the story kind of confused me before I read it, but after reading it, the title made so much sense and I absolutely loved it. Questions: Maybe it was mentioned indirectly, and I just missed it, but how old were the girls when the accident happened? Suggestions: Maybe just discreetly mention how old they are when it happened.

Brady Spring: Story 1

About these two Demigods named Isaac and Oliver who are the leaders of the group that are finally able to take the night have to have their first date in forever. They are both super nervous and excited. They ask their friends Erin and Kyle to take their place in overseeing the Caravan as they just want their date night to be perfect. I really like that this is a romance type story that is about two guys instead of a guy and a girl. I also like that Isaac was really excited at the beginning and was getting all ready for the date and wanted to look his best; and then when he was sitting in the lobby waiting he was becoming nervous, meanwhile Oliver was a nervous wreck all day and wanted the night to be perfect without any problems and then once he saw his boyfriend all his worries went away. Question: What was the exact date setting that Isaac and Oliver are going on? Was it a successful date night? Suggestions: Mention what type of date they planned for their first one in a while.

Brady Spring: Story 2

About two best friends named Brooke and Sammy who decided to run away from their homes and go on a road trip to escape from their homelife issues. They want to escape, start anew and be free. I really like how they changed their hair styles as a way of starting a new life. Questions: How old are they? I’m assuming 16 or older since they drive and have all that money. You mentioned phase one of “The Death of Brooke Chryses and Sammy Astor,” are they faking their own deaths?? Did they make it further or do they get caught? Suggestions: If you continue, I need to know what happened to them. I’m very invested. Maybe just some background information on why they are running away and what the events were that led to their decision. 

Jenna Sabia: Story 1

About two best friends who are both sharing their point of view on what happened during Thanksgiving break. The boy was driving home from bringing his roommate to the airport when he fell asleep behind the wheel and crashed into a guardrail and then his car flipped three times, and he was only 15 minutes away from her house. Throughout the story it switches from her to him and their thoughts on the whole situation. I really like that we get to hear the pov of the guy and the girl, getting boat sides of the story. It was different from the rest of the stories we have heard so far regarding there being a lot of dialogue and such. And I really enjoyed it switching from the two because they both had different reactions. We get to hear how she is frantic and worried about her best friend and jumps out of bed to find him immediately and wants to make sure he is alive and unhurt. And he is just trying to make the best of the situation and not show people that he really is affected by what happened and is just focusing on making sure his friends and family know that he is fine and well and tries to make jokes to keep it light, meanwhile he is fighting himself because he really isn’t okay and he’ll never be able to tell her that and she is just waiting for him to come to her.  And I really like how the story ends with that. Questions: Will he ever be ready to tell her that he is not okay? Suggestions: Add more details of the accident. Did he hear the sirens of the emergency vehicles? Did anyone come up to him to help?

Jenna Sabia: Story 2

About a girl named Bree who is a freshman in college, who doesn’t like and wants to transfer schools at the end of the semester. She meets this guy, Harrison, (who literally ran into her) and they hit off and become best friends. She gives him 3 months to change her mind to stay and it only takes him 5 days. I really like how relatable this is. Coming from somebody who lives 6.5 hours away from home, I instantly felt homesick that first night after move in day my freshman year. I wanted to go home after the first week. I felt so out of place because my two roommates had already been friends since they graduated from high school together. They also knew other people and I didn’t. I had no friends and never wanted to leave my room. But, after I finally made some friends, I was happy and enjoyed being where I was. I also really like how it started as a journal entry and ended with a journal entry, hence how she and Harriosn met. Questions: Was Harrison and Carmen a couple before college started or did they meet in college and start dating that quickly? Suggestions: I don’t know if it was just me, but when I was reading it, I thought they were going to end up as a couple at the end of the story. 

Mackie Harvey: Story 1

About a girl named Florence who was walking back drunk from a party when a car rolled up alongside her as it was her best friend/crush named Lincoln. They both really like each other but he has been in a relationship with a girl named Angela for the past 3 years and he is trying to find the right time to break up with her because he wants to be with Florence. After ignoring Florence for about 2 days, Lincoln shows up to her apartment door, thinking it was his, drunk. She brings him back to his place and while there he confesses to her that he broke up with Angela, and now Lincoln and Florence can be together like they wanted. I really like the dialogue between all the characters. Questions: What exactly did Angela say and do to Florence so she wouldn’t talk to Lincoln, like the comment she made to him in the car? What did Angela do to keep hurting Lincoln? Suggestions: Talk more about the relationship between Angela and Florence. I’m curious as to why they don’t get along and if they were friends beforehand.

Mackie Harvey: Story 2

About a girl who has no strength to fight, but after a tragic event involving her best friend, she finds that strength to fight both of their battles. About a girl, Barrie, who is in the hospital with cancer. She meets another cancer patient, Delilah, and they instantly become best friends. Delilah ends up dying, so Barrie promises to fight her cancer so she can live for them both. I really like the friendship between Barrie and Delilah. It was really cute and wholesome. Questions: The only questions I have is how old are they? And, how long has Barrie had cancer for? Suggestions: I actually don’t have any suggestions. I know it’s not helpful, I’m sorry. I really enjoyed reading it, it had me tearing up at the end.

Bridget McIntyre: Story 1

About the sun and moon who love each other. Moon makes a plan with Ocean to descend to Earth in human form to finally meet with Sun so they can finally have their love ever after. Once on Earth, they meet at a cabin in the woods owned by a guy named Hamish. They confess their love to each other, but Sun makes the decision to return back to the sky as they have responsibilities to complete. So, they love from afar each night and day. I really like the way you described everything in the beginning about the Earth, Sun, and Moon. And the description of Moon’s plan with Ocean to transform into a new form to meet Sun. Questions: I’m curious about how it works to go from being in the sky to being on Earth. Do they get to live on Earth the rest of their lives once they go there, or is it like a temporary thing and eventually they will have to go back into the sky? Suggestions: Talk more about the responsibilities they each have, like Sun mentioned. And, go into more details about how Earth was being affected when they left the sky, like the comment Hamish made about it still being dark out.

Bridget McIntyre: Story 2

About a wife who is living with dementia and her husband is spending their days together retelling her their story. I really like the flashback being the storyline of how they met and got together. It really drew me in more as I continued to read because I wanted to know how they met and it was cute. Questions: This question isn’t something that you have to answer if you choose to revise it, but more of a general question that I had while I was reading, and it was of how does one get something like dementia? Like I know what it is and all, but how does it happen, is it just a sudden thing or does it just happen to someone gradually? Suggestions: I actually don’t have any suggestions. I thought the story was wonderfully written and made sense as I read it. 

Kit Orologio: Story 1

About an 8 year old girl named Argyle who is obsessed with ants. The ants get out of their ant farm tank and crawl all over her bedroom. She goes running around the house trying to find a way to clean them up before her mom gets home and then she gets bitten by the ants. Because she can’t clean them all up back into the tank, she unfortunately has to crush them. I really like that I was able to imagine what Argyle was doing the whole story. The whole scene of the ants crawling and biting Argyle was detailed in a way that made me check myself for ants crawling on me. Questions: I’m curious as to why at the end she just kind of forgets everything that happened? As an eight year old, she seemed kind of calm going through that event. Suggestions: Maybe talk more about the relationship between Argyle and her mother. There seems to be some unspoken issues or tension amongst them that should be explained a bit more.

Kit Orologio: Story 2

About the main character going through this change of rebirth from their old skin to a more comfortable skin. I really like how descriptive it all was. Especially when the main character was shedding off their old self and transitioning into their new self. I also liked that it lacked a dialogue and just focused on their inner thoughts. Questions: The only question I have is, did any of this actually happen to the main character, or was it all just a fever dream in their mind? Suggestions: Honestly, I don’t have much of a suggestion. Maybe other than diving into more about the reason behind everything that they went through. I could have missed it though while reading it.

Izzy Castrucci: Story 1

About an ordinary guy named Derek, who is at the park painting when he becomes captivated by this woman in a green sweater, who seems to be waiting anxiously for a phone call. When she gets that call she is seen angrily speaking and as he is watching her and trying to paint, Al, the owner of a hotdog stand comes and talks to Derek, distracting him, making him lose the woman as he walks away. A random little girl who is lost, around 5 or 6, shows up next to him, with a pink balloon, who also likes to paint. He gives her  a canvas to paint something. After a while of painting and dancing to the saxophone, the girl is suddenly snactched by someone, that someone being the woman in the green sweater. It’s a story of captivation. He becomes so captivated by her beauty and the way she presents herself from afar that he creates a painting to capture the story of the green sweater. I really like the incorporation of Mia, the daughter of the woman. Even though it was small, I think her being there was the perfect way of them meeting each other, and her getting lost is the reason for the woman’s body language from the beginning. Questions: Derek mentions that Al is always on him about women, so that’s why he wanted to hide his painting of the woman in the green sweater. I’m curious as to why Al is constantly on him about women? Is it just because he’s an awkward shy guy, or is there more to it? Suggestions: Talk more about who Al the hotdog guy is. I know we kind of get a sense of who he is but I feel like there can be more of him written in the story.

Izzy Castrucci: Story 2

About a girl named Mel who is visiting the house her and her husband, Liam, lived in, 10 months after he died from an overdose. This is a story about grieving the loss of the love of your life and trying to find the courage and power to move on and find peace with it. I really liked how you described their relationship, with some flashbacks. My favorite part that I thought was absolutely adorable were the notes he would leave her under her pillow. She spent the last 10 months thinking about why he did it and what happened and why he would go without saying goodbye or anything else to her. Then she finds his last note to her saying everything she needed to help her find that peace. Questions: I don’t really have any questions, except for maybe just one small one: I could have missed it, but how long have they been battling with their addictions? Suggestions: I don’t have any suggestions to be honest. I thought the story started great, ended great, and everything in between was great. Beautifully written and made me want to cry out in the library. 

Cole Hauser: Story 1

About a guy who lost his mother to divorce, his father from a drunk driving accident, and his younger brother to drowning in a lake. His mother left his father because of his obsession with the rumors about the woods that do creepy things. He doesn’t believe that these rumors are true until one night when his dog escapes through the fence and runs into the woods. When in there, he sees that everyone who died (friends, mother, brother, father) have become possessed by the woods, putting their faces in the trees, or making them chase him. He encounters his father who’s not really there. He then encounters a shapeshifter who becomes his doppelganger who in the end takes over his body. I really like the story. It was fun to read and suspenseful on what was about to happen when he entered the woods. I was on edge the entire time awaiting for what was to come next. I did enjoy the whole shapeshifter ideal with his father and then himself. Questions: Was this all a dream and nothing actually happened? What happened to the dog?? Did his doppelganger take over his body at the end? Suggestions: I really enjoyed how you wrote this story. I don’t really have any suggestions, but maybe touch in on how his brother’s death affected him a bit more.

Cole Hauser: Story 2

About a man, Will and a woman, Jamie, who are best friends that bond over movies together. However, Jamie gets cancer and tells Will that she wants to make a movie with him before she dies. At the end of the story, it is revealed that it was an actual movie this whole time between the two of them. I really like the flashback of how the two of them met at the movie theater, when she walked back in and sat next to him, and then they went movie hopping until they found a movie they bonded over. Again, in the flashback, after they walked out, they went over to the edge by the water and started talking about why they like movies so much. After that night, they continued to see each other which was cute. I also just really like that it was a movie happening the whole time. Questions: What was the purpose of the truck crashing into the party? It just seemed random to me and confused me a bit. Also, why did Jamie get so upset about the guy talking about their couples costume and why was she mad at Will? What did Will do to get her upset? Suggestions: Overall I liked the story. I think for me the only suggestion I have is to expand on what was a part of the movie and what was considered to be in real life.

Cammy Justic: Story 1

About a couple who is struggling with their marriage so they go see a marriage counselor. They suggest that Jen and Ryan go camping to fix their issues. During the trip they argue a lot, and eventually Jen gets tired of it and walks off to leave and go home and will come back to pick Ryan up when the trip is over. He’s alone in the woods and she’s in the car but realizes that she doesn’t have the keys. Now there’s a bunch of wolves surrounding the car. I really like the suspense at the end about what’s going to happen with the wolves and if he will come save her before it’s too late. Questions: Does Jen make it out alive?? Did she step out of the car to try to run back to Ryan? Suggestions: Mention more of their back story, when their marriage first started messy. I want to know more about why they needed to see a marriage counselor in the first place.

Cammy Justic: Story 2

About a woman, Tessa, who is going to her best friends wedding and is worried about running into her ex, Peyton. He shows up, engaged, to the woman he cheated on Tessa with. I really like the scenario Tessa makes about when Peyton got to the wedding, and the conversation they would have and how she was not letting him have it and going off on him, and not letting him make any excuses for his actions. Questions: Neither Tessa or Peyton ever tried reaching out to each other after the break up? Did they not run into one another? Suggestions: I don’t have any suggestions really, I know, not helpful, but maybe try to expand more with the story. And, you don’t have to, but maybe at the very end, at some point have her go off on him and tell him how she truly feels. Overall, I enjoyed reading it and was rooting for her to kick his ass.

Scott Clemons-Baker: Story 1

About a guy named Seb who lost his girlfriend Marley to cancer. He sees the world how she taught him, by observing. He goes through life while dealing with stress and anxiety. I really like that I was able to picture the scenes on the bus of the way you were describing everyone and how they were going about their day and how they behaved in a way of how they acted in that moment. I am a very observant person myself so I can relate to this. I also really liked your descriptions of everything. Questions: I’m curious about the grumpy old man from the bus in the beginning. Did he have a better day? You mentioned how you said you hope he has a better day or something, and then later on the woman and boy walk into the bookstore. I was hoping for the guy to walk in as well so we can see how his day went. Suggestions: Maybe talk more about Seb’s life before Marley died. I feel like I need more of his background.

Scott Clemons-Baker: Story 2

About a girl, Summer and a guy, Boston, who are involved in a police chase. They have been on the run for years. After hearing that their names are all over the news, they need a plan so they can hide. They decide to go to Boston’s father, who he hasn’t seen in years. I really like that at the end Boston was able to learn why his father left him and his mother and now he can hopefully have a relationship with his father. Questions: The only question I have is about his mother. Where is she that they couldn’t go to her instead of the father? Suggestions: Maybe talk more about the situation they are in. I know it’s a police chase after a failed robbery attempt, but maybe adding in some details of the robbery would give more descriptions of what’s happening. 

Gracie Ouellette: Story 1

About a girl named Winter and a boy named Devyn who are best friends. They are complete opposites personality wise. They are set at the ocean. Winter has a connection with the ocean as it was her mother’s favorite place to be before she died. Devyn, on the other hand, does not like the ocean. She gets lost within her thoughts, and walks along the rock path deeper into the ocean, until she has a panic attack and freezes. Although he hates it and will never go far into the water, he realizes that she may not be okay and risks his fears to go save her. This is a story about two friends who need each other, support and love each other. I really like the description of the ocean, and how well you described the feelings of the waves crashing in and just the overall description of feelings among the characters. Questions: Why does Devyn hate the ocean? Suggestions: I liked this story a lot and actually don’t have any suggestions on anything to fix, but I would suggest adding in a mention of devyn’s background a bit more.

Gracie Ouellette: Story 2

About a girl, Sophia, who is having a difficult time figuring out her feelings. She had a boyfriend, Ash, but they broke up. Her best friend Noah likes her. After her breakup with Ash, she feels like she likes Noah. They confess their feelings and begin dating. Turns out she still loves Ash so she and Noah break up. Although her and Ash are happier than ever, she can’t help but feel an emptiness without Noah. I really like how you captured the dilemma of the saying “right person, wrong time” through Sophia but instead made it “wrong person, right time.” I think it’s relatable to the fact that everyone at least once, or will eventually understand what she is going through when deciding what her true feelings are when she’s caught in between two people. Questions: The only question I have is, will Noah and Sophia eventually come across each other again? This question doesn’t need to be answered because I like the idea of having that suspense of not knowing what may come in the future. Suggestions: I can’t really think of anything to say as far as suggestions. I thought the flow of the story was written perfectly. The story was easy to follow and make sense as I was reading through. 

Alexa Livingston: Story 1

About a man and woman who are married and own a bar together. One night, the man goes back home to his wife who is dying of cancer. After telling her about the night’s events, she tells him that she wants to go back to the bar one last time before she dies. I really like the incorporation of the young couple. By the way he was talking about them, they were like the next generation of the married couple. To me, I took it as though she may be dying, their love will never die, and it will continue on with the younger couple. Questions: Maybe I missed it, but how old are they? Suggestions: I have no suggestions. I know that doesn’t help, but I absolutely loved it. Especially the ending. I think it ended perfectly. It was such a beautiful yet tragic story.

Alexa Livingston: Story 2

About a woman, Molly, who goes on a camping trip to find her purpose in her life and in finding her purpose, she is escaping her old life to find a new life, which she does by writing. In the process of this, she finds herself on the brink of death as she is trying to persuade a teenage girl into rethinking her decision to jump to her death, telling her it’s not worth it. I really like the way you walked us readers through the story. It was very descriptive and felt like I was there, especially the scenes of her and the girl on the bridge. I also really liked the way Molly was able to get the girl to rethink her choice. Questions: I think the only questions that I have is one, what exactly happened in the beginning with the boy? And, two, did they both end up falling at the end and dying?? Suggestions: It was a really good story, and honestly, I don’t have any suggestions besides maybe revisiting Molly’s past a little.

Mia Morgan: Story 1

About a man named Trev who has a crush on his coworker Jack. They both work at a restaurant. During a break, Trev and Jack have a conversation where Jack tells Trev he knows about his crush on him. At closing time, when everyone is leaving, Trev’s hopes are crushed when he sees Jack get in the car and kiss another man. He makes his way home, lighting a cigarette he hasn’t had in two years . I really like the banter between Trev and Sully. It just goes to show that not all bosses are strict about dating in the workforce, and having crushes on your coworker. It almost seemed like Sully is supportive of Trev’s crush on Jack. And I mean, hello, everyone knows about the other two who are sleeping together. Questions: I need to know, what was Jack going to say to Trev before being interrupted by Sully?? Suggestions: I would like to know more about the promotion that Trev would be receiving, and what would happen if he didn’t end up getting it.

Mia Morgan: Story 2

About a woman, Theodora Whitlock, who met this guy, Preston, back in college when she was tutoring him in a class. They fell in love and got married. It turns out that he wasn’t what he used to be, and after an argument, she realizes that she doesn’t need this life and runs out ready to start a better one. I really like the vibes of this story. I don’t know if it was just me, but as I was reading it, it gave me like “back in the day” vibes, especially with the names of the characters. I absolutely loved it. I also read it in a British accent, as if they are from England. It just gave such British vibes. Questions: Why’d Preston have to be such a jerk? Suggestions: I feel like the ending was a little fast paced and a little rush, but I don’t know how you could fix that without making it any longer.

Alex Kiehnau: Story 1

About a mother who is battling with depression and struggling with her mental illness, which creates this tension between her and her family. Her husband suggests going to see a doctor, but she refuses. After an anxiety attack about her kids vs a dragon, she decides she wants to try and goes to get help. I really like how you were able to describe the pain and the struggle you face when having depression. The aspect of her thinking she has become a burden to her family and then her husband reassuring her that she’s not I found to be very wholesome because most of the time you hear about people up and leaving, and not staying besides the person they know who struggles with a mental illness, because they don’t want to be bothered with it. And I really like that he doesn’t take the kids and leave her to deal with it by herself, but insteads wants to help her and stands by her side. Questions: How long has the mother been struggling with depression? Suggestions: I’m kind of confused on the whole timeline of the story. Maybe some clarification of when it is all taking place could help some of the readers.

Alex Kiehnau: Story 2

About two women, Penny and Reyes, who are girlfriends. Reyes is an assassin while Penny is not. Reyes will do anything to keep Penny safe while also doing her job. I really like how even though Penny doesn’t seem all that supportive of what Reyes does, she has stayed by her side all those years that they are dating and hasn’t left her. Questions: How did Reyes even get into the lifestyle of being an assassin? Suggestions: Maybe cut back some of the action scenes. I feel like it was a bit too much, and I was hoping for more romantic scenes between Penny and Reyes.